[life in a suitcase]

What could be an anchor here, with a storm on the rise,
When you never meant to see so clear, when smoke gets in your eyes
And the men in the moon never makes his replies
Understood

I’ve got my life in a suitcase,
I’m ready to run, run, run away..
I’ve got no time, ’cause I’m always trying to run, run, run away
‘Cause everyday in here feels like it’s only a game.
I’ve got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase…

For a moment I was one man and the world made sense
For a moment in this storm made of consequence

copeland – the day i lost my voice

i’m living out of a suitcase… for the next two and half weeks and then for another two and half after that.

my current experience is not going as planned, though it is getting better with each passing day. i don’t want divided attention, but that’s a constant choice i must make. i may be physically one place, but mentally and emotionally i have the tendency to run away in my brain [which reminds me of another song, but i’ll save that one for another post another time].

there are moments that just feel surreal. though i’m here in person living them, it doesn’t seem like it is. time passing, conversations being had. it just… feels like a game. a something else to check off the list before i can get back to what i really want to be doing, or where i really want to be, or living with the people that i want to be with. that’s the wrong attitude and it’s robbing me [and those around me] of the joy of being in the moment. by having a divided focus, i’m not really using the full energy i have to accomplish what i have set out to do in this setting. my divided energy is causing my work time to multiply.

i’m blessed to be in this setting with the people that God has brought here for this time and purpose. i love sitting around the picnic table eating rouchuar and listening to people’s lives, not just their words, but to their lives – what He has brought them through since the last time we shared a meal or a laugh.

God has done big things in all of our lives this past year. the phrase “cultivating faithfulness” was spoken and has resonated with me since. He has shown Himself faithful, He has been working to develop that in us; in me. this group of people represent so many tears, laughs, stories, challenges and joys of what God has done this last school year. we’re reading in Psalm 37, verse 3 says, “Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.”

okay. this is me – getting back to work, getting into my present, and letting Him cultivate faithfulness in me and trusting Him for where He has placed me now.